small miracles
Yesterday, we spoke with the social worker to discuss the logistics of my dad's standing. He explained my dad's DNR, emotional outreach and funeral arrangements. It went a lot better than when we met with the nurse director last Saturday. That discussion completely caught me off guard and it sucked.
My mum pulled me aside afterwards and said she needed to tell me a story. She jumped in our truck so that Preston could hear too. She started by saying that earlier that day she and my dad re listened to a conference talk given by Elder Hallstrom. A talk I'll probably discuss more later, because that was one of my favorites. He talked about miracles, but also discussed if our miracles never come, or if we have the faith to NOT be healed.
We no doubt have seen many, many miracles. My dad has always been able to bounce back and keep on going. But this time, he just...can't. My mum further explained that she asked him if he has seen any miracles in his life lately. He said simply, "Yes. Two."
The first miracle, he said was Paxton. My little boy. My dad said my sweet baby is his miracle. He's the fifth grandchild, but the first grandson. His reasoning is because he was able to see him be born, and spend so much time with him. That he is able to still hold him and play with him. Those have been his blessings. Those two have such a sweet bond. Paxton loves to cuddle up in the curve of my dads arm (propped up by a pillow as of late) and stare at my dad. Every time he is there, Paxton reaches his little hand up and touches my dad's face. Usually my dad will kiss his fingers. It sounds stupid, but time slows down whenever I watch that. It's small and simple, but my heart is completely filled when I see it. My dad does better when Paxton is around. And I hope Paxton will grow up to know what a celestial man he was, and how close their relationship was. I know without a doubt that Paxton came when he did so they could both have these experiences together here on earth.
The second, was my older brother Brett. He and his family have been living in Texas for the past 2.5 years and we rarely see them. Brett is the younger version of my dad, in appearance and personality. I know it has killed him to be away from my parents, and sometimes he would fly out just for a weekend to help out, but it hasn't always been possible. He recently graduated with his masters and has applied for hundreds of jobs and he still hasn't found one. He's been really frustrated, and it's hard to watch his little family struggle because of unemployment. But my dad said that Brett not having a job is a miracle, because it allowed them to move back home. It allows Brett to be here at any given moment, meet with all of my Dad's direct care, and help support my mom. I also think my brother will have more closure, knowing he was here, rather than feeling guilty for being away. Such a small thing, means so much to my dad.
I loved the simplicity of these miracles. And I love that they weren't necessarily things people (or myself) would deem as a miracle. I believe my dad has the faith to not be healed, but to see the goodness in what is around him as he is passing. I hope I can always remember that side of him.
My mum pulled me aside afterwards and said she needed to tell me a story. She jumped in our truck so that Preston could hear too. She started by saying that earlier that day she and my dad re listened to a conference talk given by Elder Hallstrom. A talk I'll probably discuss more later, because that was one of my favorites. He talked about miracles, but also discussed if our miracles never come, or if we have the faith to NOT be healed.
We no doubt have seen many, many miracles. My dad has always been able to bounce back and keep on going. But this time, he just...can't. My mum further explained that she asked him if he has seen any miracles in his life lately. He said simply, "Yes. Two."
The first miracle, he said was Paxton. My little boy. My dad said my sweet baby is his miracle. He's the fifth grandchild, but the first grandson. His reasoning is because he was able to see him be born, and spend so much time with him. That he is able to still hold him and play with him. Those have been his blessings. Those two have such a sweet bond. Paxton loves to cuddle up in the curve of my dads arm (propped up by a pillow as of late) and stare at my dad. Every time he is there, Paxton reaches his little hand up and touches my dad's face. Usually my dad will kiss his fingers. It sounds stupid, but time slows down whenever I watch that. It's small and simple, but my heart is completely filled when I see it. My dad does better when Paxton is around. And I hope Paxton will grow up to know what a celestial man he was, and how close their relationship was. I know without a doubt that Paxton came when he did so they could both have these experiences together here on earth.
The second, was my older brother Brett. He and his family have been living in Texas for the past 2.5 years and we rarely see them. Brett is the younger version of my dad, in appearance and personality. I know it has killed him to be away from my parents, and sometimes he would fly out just for a weekend to help out, but it hasn't always been possible. He recently graduated with his masters and has applied for hundreds of jobs and he still hasn't found one. He's been really frustrated, and it's hard to watch his little family struggle because of unemployment. But my dad said that Brett not having a job is a miracle, because it allowed them to move back home. It allows Brett to be here at any given moment, meet with all of my Dad's direct care, and help support my mom. I also think my brother will have more closure, knowing he was here, rather than feeling guilty for being away. Such a small thing, means so much to my dad.
I loved the simplicity of these miracles. And I love that they weren't necessarily things people (or myself) would deem as a miracle. I believe my dad has the faith to not be healed, but to see the goodness in what is around him as he is passing. I hope I can always remember that side of him.
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